Gratitude Day 3 (AKA Motherhood)

It's Mother's Day weekend so you can easily guess what is high on my gratitude chart!  Today, it's simply MOTHERHOOD (#16).  If you know me well, or have followed my blog for a while, then you know that becoming a mother was no small feat for me. 

I married the Mr. Wonderful when I was 34 and we struggled with infertility for years before deciding that adoption was right for us....and then the adoption took almost two years from start to finish.  By the time we brought sweet Sophia home, I was literally a bundle of raw nerves popping anti-depressants and swigging Russian beer.  Quickly, we settled into a routine that revolved completely around the child [hmmm...this hasn't changed much] and opened my eyes to REAL unconditional love. 

Before becoming a mother I thought I understood what love was, but my definition was skewed.  Now, I am not certain that you can love another adult unconditionally.  If my husband were abusive and neglectful and another twenty adjectives describing a crappy spouse, would and could I love him unconditionally?  I'm not sure, but I doubt it.

I have friends I love and have loved dearly.  The one who stabbed me in the back? The compulsive liar?  The crazy drug addicted one who gets on my nerves with her constant neediness? Not still my pals. This certainly isn't unconditional.

Pets?  I've loved pets through the years.  I've tolerated litter boxes, fur on my bedspread, and mangled corners of furniture.  And then there was Skittles 2.0.  You remember the cat who thought it was fun to pee on every surface in my home?  I had his ass gassed.  Sure, it was a great excuse to get a new sofa and replace rugs, but unconditional?  Um, no.

Parent/child relationships are different.  Parent screws up; kid moves on; relationship grows and vice versa.  Every day she hurts my feelings and causes me to question my motives - and my sanity - but would I STOP being her Mama?  Never.  My heart is overflowing with the love and affection I have for my daughter and as we approach the adoption of #2, I am praying that I'll grow up to be the person Sophie already thinks I am.

Happy Mother's Day weekend!

Adoption Update

Yesterday, hubby & I got our fingerprints done (finally!) so all that's left is sorting this paperwork and getting it to the agency. If I can find John's SS card (sheesh), I'll get everything copied and over to the agency Monday a.m. YEAH! Then we will get the home study and home inspection scheduled and go from there.

Thanks to all for your prayers!

Gotcha Day

This week marks our 3rd anniversary of bringing home our beautiful Sophia. In the past, we have not celebrated her "Gotcha' Day." This year, however, she is beginning to have some ideas about adoption, birth families, etc. due in large part to our beginning paperwork to adopt another daughter. In the spirit of teaching her what a great gift and opportunity that adoption can be, we want to have a special family celebration this year to collect infant items which will then be shipped back to her orphanage of origin.

Other ideas are listed below (compliments of http://www.adoption.com/):

~Similar to a birthday with cake, presents, and a party.
~No party, but giving the child a choice for a special activity i.e. zoo, museum, park, and perhaps a special dinner.
~Lighting candles to honor birth parents, foster parents, etc.
~A family activity i.e. picnic, baseball game, or visit to an amusement park
~Presenting a gift that represents the child's birth heritage i.e. the country, state, or city they were born in.
~Reviewing a child's life book, and perhaps adding a page to represent the past year
~Doing a presentation in your child's classroom about adoption and how families are different.
~Sending in cupcakes or an activity that your child's class can participate in that represents adoption, families, or your child's cultural background.
~Remembering the children left behind, children still in foster care or orphanages: volunteering with a foster care group or sending a care package to your child's orphanage.
~Using the day to acknowledge other adoptive families that may be struggling by committing to provide respite a certain numbers of hours per month.
~Writing in a family journal.
~Helping your child to write or draw something in a journal about their life, their adoption, or their past.
~Reading a book about families and/or adoption.
~Letting the honored child sit at the head of the table throughout the day.
~Make a crown to celebrate the special day.
In the past, adoption was considered a quiet, secretive event. Now, thankfully, families can celebrate the joy and happiness that has come to them through becoming an adoptive family.

© Susan M. Ward, Older Child Adoption Online Magazine

I'd love to hear from other adoptive families to see how/if they celebrate!

Being Intentional

This morning I met with one of our pastors about some, eh, issues I've been having with our church and its programs, and I can't tell you how great it feels to have someone listen to and validate my feelings! On that note, I will strive to be intentional this week in the following:

~Let my "yes" mean "yes." I've made several offers to volunteer with different ministries, and it is so important that I follow through with my commitments.
~PRAY for my brothers & sisters in their projects.
~Commit to my family care whether it be through special times, finishing this kitchen project (!), or doing laundry.
~Prepare for Saturday's adoption parenting class, open my mind to learn something and not feel like I've wasted a day of this long weekend!