Live & Learn

Suck up. Not "suck it up". Suck up.



At my age (over 40, oh nosy one) and as the parent of a six year old "suck up" is something I thought was a LONG way behind me and a LONG way ahead for my daughter, but alas, the fine art of cozying, cottoning, fawning and (my personal favorite) bootlicking is alive and well in the "Let's act like we're in middle school even though we've got crow's feet" crowd.



On the one hand, I would love to list my grievances and the guilty sycophants, but that would be wrong. Oh sure, it would be fun, but it would plop me into the aforementioned "middle school" category and spawn a dozen comments quoting James 3:8. Instead, I will address bootlickers in general and the temporary insanity that prevented me from knowing a suck up when I saw one.



You see, I wasn't always this stupid. From the time I was young, I was a fairly good judge of character; not a perfect track record, but pretty good. I've had the same best friend since I was five so I'd say I get more than a handful of points for that alone. In general, I've usually been able to weed out "so called friends" from the real deal. Even as a teen, I could pick out the chick who wanted to borrow my clothes, the kid who needed a ride, the one who wanted to borrow my ID or money. Whatever IT was I recognized it. I'm not saying I was always prudent in my choices (insert guffaw and snort here), but the point is that deep down I KNEW I was being used. I've never been hypersensitive so it wasn't THAT big a deal. (Well, there was that one time when my entire family forgot my birthday. That was bad. OK, that was REALLY bad. But since then, I've never been hypersensitive.)



Flash forward a few, er, decades. In the meantime, I've married, divorced, remarried and held down numerous jobs and had a pretty successful career. During the course of life in the rat race, I have maintained friendships with many former coworkers, employees & employers. To be honest, there are many more whom I've totally forgotten and couldn't pick out of a police lineup, but that's another blog.



Recently, I had the privilege of working on staff at my church. From the moment I was hired, I recognized that many more people sought to talk to me and spend time with me than in the past, and I attributed this to my being more visible to and active within the congregation. During the time I was on staff, I worked really hard to build and maintain relationships with the volunteer base and considered several of them to be good friends. And THAT's my problem.



When I chose to resign, I found that literally overnight some of my "friends" not only were no longer "friends" but now couldn't be bothered to speak to me or even make eye contact when I dropped off my daughter for class. People who had been in my home and welcomed me into theirs now considered me some kind of pariah. While it's true that I'm guilty of many things, I didn't (and don't) deserve that kind of rejection. I'll certainly take any blame for things I've done or said that offended them and take any blame where I've acted out of line or let my pride seep in.



But honestly, I believe I'll just have to chalk this one up in the "Live & Learn" column. And I think I'll put an asterisk by a couple of those names just so I'll remember who and what a big suck up is.

Superbowl Contest

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It's been a while.....

Hello blog. I've missed you. It's been a busy week (OK, it's been nearly a YEAR).

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Bedtime Gem

"...please help Violet not to blow up like a blueberry. Please Jesus."

Can you tell we've watched Willy Wonka 7 times in the last five days??

Christmas -- Day 2

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me --
2 soy lattes, and a cat climbing in the Christmas tree.

Coupon links & online codes

In case you are interested in freebies, take a look at http://www.dealblabs.com/. Great online coupons and coupon codes FYI.

My own version of a Christmas classic.....

On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....a new kitten that climbs the Christmas tree.....

Is it FROZEN FOOD MONTH yet?

I just prepared my daughter's breakfast. Chocolate milk and a frozen waffle. Let me rephrase that: chocolate milk and a waffle right out of the freezer STILL frozen. I am taking a moment to think of her other favorites and am realizing that this child has a real affinity for cold foods. She doesn't just like for her cooked food to cool off. What the child loves is frozen foods right out of the freezer! We discovered this quirk when she was about three and just mastered opening the freezer door to get her own popsicles (a monkey on her back, let me tell ya). She asked sweetly if she could have one, and when I said yes, headed for her beloved Frigidaire. A few moments later I found her sitting on the kitchen floor licking a frozen ravioli. I watched, and as the ravioli thawed a little, she bit right into it and savored every morsel. Amazing. And gross.

In fact, we had a frozen ravioli dinner last night which was preceded by a cold pizza lunch. I know it looks like I'm in dire need of nutritional and/or parenting classes, but I did serve a fruit and vegetable with these entrees. Tonight's special is organic spinach ravioli a la ice crystals with a side of garden fresh cucumber slices. Our dessert du jour is french vanilla yogurt with fresh raspberries and frozen (of course) chocolate chips. Seriously. I wouldn't go back to this restaurant.

Last night, I made the terrible mistake of COOKING THE LAST FEW RAVIOLI which brought about the horrific "WHY?". "WHY?" for those for those who don't live with four year olds is not, in fact, a quick three-letter word denoting a question. "WHY?" is actually a nineteen syallable, ear-splitting sound which begins in the child's nose and ends in the mother's spine. If you think nails on a chalkboard are bad, then you've never been "WAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIed." At least I was able to serve an icy breakfast. I just can't take the "WHY?" before noon.

Baby Talk

Yet another moment of sweetness from my darling daughter...

As she was jamming on my 80s playlist, I overheard the following:

- "Love sticks. Yeah. Yeah." (aka "Love Stinks" by the J. Geils Band)

- "the deep police are a coming for me." (aka "Dream Police" by Cheap Trick)

Ode To My Fellow Multitaskers...(or Are We Really Uber-Efficient or Plagued with ADD?)

I shall start by acknowledging that "Pride is Folly." Yep, I know it to be true today. I generally pride myself on my ability to do multiple tasks simultaneously. I consider myself to be quite efficient this way, and, frankly, I secretly suspect that single-taskers aren't quite as smart as I am. There, I said it. Don't be angry my beloved family of single-taskers. I reluctantly admire your dogged focus to "see it through" whatever "it" might be.

Today, my to-do list resembles the Dead Sea Scrolls which, unfurled, drag the floor. As I scurry from task to task, I come to the hall bathroom which I have just cleaned and mopped. Only a few minor tweaks to check this baby off the list: wipe counters, clean mirrors...hmmm...those soap dispensers look gross. I think I will toss them in a sink full of water and get them squeaky clean.
* Plug sink. Check.
* Add soap dispensers. Check.
* Fill with water. Check.
Dash to master bath to begin cleaning it. Scrub shower. Check. Wonder what that running water sound is. Check?

Oh. My. God. Water. Running. Bathroom. Sink.

I pause for a whole two seconds to utter a prayer as I head down the hallway toward a sink that only plugs properly about half the time, "Please Lord. Let the stopper not be working...." Enter hall bathroom and realize there is no point in finishing THIS prayer. Water, water everywhere.

I can't help but laugh and try to look for the bright side. Thank God I had already mopped so that, while wet, at least the floor isn't wet AND dirty. Thank God we live in a ranch home so I don't have to worry about falling through to the kitchen downstairs.

I start another load of laundry (towels this time!) and ponder my utter INefficiency today. Too funny really and I'm still laughing as I walk past another pile of towels intended for the laundry and head off to finish cleaning the master bathroom...

Is that the sound of water still running in the shower?